Victoria Felkar

Changing your life is not easy. It cannot be done in a sentence. It cannot be done on the whim. It cannot be done without strategy.

Negative, eh?

Changing your life CAN be done. You must be smart about it. Stop bullshitting and lying to yourself. Separate yourself from the flock of resolutioners and you might actually succeed. What you are about to read I hope will shed some light into why resolutions don’t work, why goal setting does… why yo-yo dieting will get you no where fast, and why lifestyle & planning will allow you to succeed.

And so it begins…

I’ve been working in gyms for a long time now and see the same story, every single year in every single gym. Come January first you have the NYR crew (New Year Resolution) come in and last for usually no more than 3 weeks… and I am being liberal at that. I might seem like a real callous bitch, but I am saying this because I care. As a trainer I don’t like seeing people give up, fail, quit or fall off the bandwagon, but let’s face it kids it’s happening for a reason.

New Year’s Resolutions DO NOT WORK. Why? Let’s take a look.

First, what is a resolution?

Resolution: a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Alright, so in the case of weight loss, which is many people’s NYR, one is affirming to do or not to gain weight. That doesn’t seem right to me.

My NYR is to go to the gym …. My NYR is to lose weight …
My NYR is to stick to my diet … My NYR is run 10km…

This is the WRONG APPROACH! For starters, resolutions are so ambiguous, not concrete and there isn’t an ounce of realism. How are you going to lose weight? Why are you? What is going to help you lose weight? When are you going to lose weight? … I’ll stop now. Resolutions simply state a decision, they do not determine anything other than that. My NYR is to be queen of the world, ya think that’s going to happen without direction, specificity, regulation, and so on? No dice.

Now that I have crushed your soul completely, I want to talk to you about GOAL SETTING.

Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed

Goals and goal setting is how we create ACTION by helping to mobilize effort and adding persistence. Through the practice of goal setting, you develop new strategies, making your journey not only effective and time efficient, but you also increase the probability of achieving your goal… not resolving to do, or rather not to do something.

Before you can train, eat clean or live healthier there is usually a turning point. Why are you making a change in your daily routines? What about the reason for sweating daily, or the contest ride on the pain train? All of this comes down to goals. Goal setting is critical to get from point A to point B, with success! This process allows you to establish the reasons for your actions- one of the most powerful and effective skills you can ever learn.

Goals come in three different forms.

1. Outcome Goals: focus on social comparison and competitive results.
- can increase short term motivation but also increases anxiety
- Example: winning a race, outplaying your opponent

2. Performance Goals: focus on improving and attaining personal performance standards.
- the more precise you are when making this type of goal, the better the results
- Example: don’t like how you placed in your last competition, or wanting to give 100% every time you train

3. Process Goals: focus on specific behaviours, either physical or psychological
- these allow you to reach your Performance and Outcome Goals
- whether good or bad can cause you to become overly conscious in of your actions.
- Example: wanting to improve your running stride, or better for lifting form

Most of us have heard about Smith’s SMART goals, which states the effective goals must be: Specific, Measurable, Action-orientated, Realistic, Time-based and Self determined…. As much as this is a great tool for goal setting, I like Locke and Latham’s Goal Setting Theory, which is an easy and the best way to break down goals.

Look at your goal ….
1. consider that difficult goals lead to considerably higher levels of performance than easy goals.
2. specific goals lead to higher levels of performance than vague goals (“do your best” goals, or no goal).

What does it take to have an effective goal to get the job done?
1. Specificity … “this is what I need to do”
2. Temporality … short term vs. long term
3. Moderate Difficulty vs. Challenging … the harder the more effort put forth
4. Collectivity … “You vs. Yourself” vs. Team Goals
5. Flexibility … what are you willing to change to get your goal?
6. Controllability … how much control do you have?
7. Needs Assessment … looking at your barriers, what could/would/should get in your way
8. Product vs. Process Orientation … your outcome or the process to get there
9. Evaluate and Reinforce Your Goal Attainment … reward or punish for your goal achievement

Why am I harping on the types of goals?

It matters. If you set yourself with a flimsy goal, you are going to fail. When you fail you are going to feel like shit about yourself. When you feel like shit about yourself, you usually allow yourself to fall deeper into the bit of self hate, self sabotage and self destruction. Something as simple as recognizing what you are trying to achieve will make a world of a difference in HOW you are going to achieve it.

So how to make those goal happen? These are just some tips, by no means all but some…

- Write down your goals, and make them public! This not only makes you accountable, but it also allows others to be supportive of you.

- Clearly state your goals in a positive manor. There is no negativity allowed.

- Take into consideration if your goal is for a specific thing or more general. Remember that too many goals within a program does not allow for the proper completion and monitoring of them. This will cause you to lose interest.

Be open to the idea of goal setting. It surprises me how many people are negative about the idea of even setting a goal. Don’t underestimate yourself. It takes time to accomplish a goal, so leave yourself enough time! And last but not least, review your goals regularly! Keep them fresh, fun and focused! Alright people, let’s do this! There is no better time to start then now! Grab a piece of paper and write and begin your journey!

Now that I have taught about goal setting I am going to COMPLETELY REVOLUTIONIZE your thoughts about New Years, resolutions and goal setting.

Guess what. Prepare yourself for this…

It doesn’t need to be the start of a new year to change your life.

It doesn’t need to be January 1st to goal set.

Hell, it doesn’t even need to be the start of a week, or the beginning of a new day to begin something new and take yourself on a whole new journey of success.

It really grinds my gears to hear trainers harp about New Years resolutions. Shit like “loose 20lbs and get the body you always dreamed about in 2012”. Uhhh excuse me sir but you are WRONG.

I could go on an even larger tangent about how the number on the scale doesn’t matter, how dreaming doesn’t equate to action and so on, but I’ll save you there. Just listen for another couple sentences and maybe I’ll have you believing me.

Lifestyle trumps yo-yo dieting.

Periodization even in goal setting trumps long, lofty “90 days to a new you” bullshit

I hate hustling my programs and such, but I helped a lot of people last year change their lives for the better by breaking down New Years goals into a PLANNED approach… this can be seen here in the Challenge newsletter of 2011.

I might not like that people wait till New Years to change their lives, and I might not like that people are more caught up about weight loss than healthy living, however this is just the way she goes. My lifelong commitment has been to help people succeed in doing whatever they desire, and if I have helped at least one person re-think and ditch their resolutions than my job here is done.

Be smart my friends, and good luck.

live. love. fitness.
Victoria

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”- Anatole France

There is a big difference between acting out on anger and hostility, and simply getting through life – in which at times can be down right dirty, hard, ruthless and unkind. It isn’t a case of me vs. you or even me vs. the world. This is about ME vs. MYSELF. Within our normative discourse, when a male acts with “aggression” he is an asshole, and females are stamped as a bitch.

I remember back in a first year course learning about aggression and sports. It honestly stumped my ass. Some researchers were so keen to say that “aggressive behaviour in sports is bad”. What you say?  Aggression is a negative behaviour? I’m going to be bold here, no one call me a bitch, but let’s face it without aggression there is no such thing as sport… there is no such thing as success.

We see the same situations mirrored in nature. Within the animal kingdom, aggressive behaviour is inherent to life. It provides survival and evolutionary advantage. Is a tiger a vicious beast? Or simply a cat trying to survive?

Ok, yes, I know. Humans are different than animals, and “on the field” in sports can be argued as requiring different actions/behaviours than off –  but we have all the principles here at work.  Can I be aggressive? YES. Does this mean I am acting with hostility and violence towards others? NO.

There is a huge different between hostility and simply being assertive, self-confident and determined. At times, the game of life needs to be played with unceasing aggression or else you will be conquered. You’ve got to be bold and headstrong. This doesn’t mean literally raging on people – harness the beast and direct it where it is needed. Sometimes its got to be used within a workout, it might be the only thing that will lift that weight. Other times, it might be a persona presented  as the only thing stopping a person from breaking down.

Whatever it is, aggression isn’t negative. Its doesn’t connote hostility. Don’t take things personally or assume someone is an asshole because they didn’t smile at you.

“Aggression is a card that should seldom be used, but in training, business and life there are times were aggression can and will serve you well and take you to levels you never dreamed possible. “- Dave Tate

Are you who you want to be?

Sometimes the simplest of questions can have the most profound effects.

Don’t hide amongst the shadows of what you could be, what you should be or what you can be. Just be. Live with integrity,  focus and pride. Be real. Be authentic. Be confident with who you are. Confidence comes from being aware of yourself and honest about who you really are. When you’re comfortable in your own skin, you look beautiful on the outside, regardless of how many “flaws” think you have. I break out, have bad gas, body insecurities, and am more neurotic than a gerbil. But all of those and more are what makes me who I am. We all have imperfections, but few will accept them not as shortcomings but for creating excellence.

We all have dreams  and aspirations. As with everything, there is a starting point. You must to start trying to achieve these dreams. Trust me, everything you want it out there, just waiting for you. And it wants you to… but you must take the necessary steps to achieve it. If you think too long about anything, it often becomes undone. Stop thinking and start doing.

Yes, I know, it is scary. Ask yourself, How badly do you really want it? Bad enough to take the leap of faith? To take a risk? Don’t be afraid. You might stumble and fall, but guess what? You might also succeed. The biggest lessons in life are usually tangled amongst chaos and confusion. It is within the times that we feel the most alienated and uncomfortable that we learn the most about ourselves.

You don’t know where life will take you, but that is part of life. Start believing in yourself. Believe that you can, and you will. If you want it bad enough, you will be able to push past the nay sayers and break down all the odds. All accomplishments deserves to be spread. Pass it on. Share your knowledge, experience and love. Be the one to inspire others, like those before you have done for you.

Love the life you live and live the life you love. It is your future, your choice. Choose where life will take you. Choose who you want to be.

Remember, the road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination. So, buckle up and enjoy it. It’s going to be one hell of a ride.

Life is like a heavy bench press. You need to push… and push hard. You need to do whatever you need to do to not get crushed.

Some days it will kick your ass. Some days you will second guess yourself. Some days you’ll say, fuck this is heavy. Some days you’ll have to do the things you suck at just so you can be better at the things you want to do. Some days it will be more mental and others more physical.

Face that facts. It’s not going to be easy.

You won’t set records every day. Pushing max effort day in and out will only leave you burned out and hurt. We all need time to deload. We all need to slow things down occasionally and take a step back. Everything has its time and place. Be patient, stay focused and enjoy the journey to the destination.

Technicalities, education, coaching, scheduling won’t make the task easier. They will achieving the task better. They will make YOU better.

At the end of the day, you still got to raise that bar. You are the one who is accountable for your own results. You choose how far you want take it. You decide how much you will push.

Prepare. Believe you can. Visualize it.  Know your position and be strategic. Set your goals high. Keep your ass down and head in the game. Commit 100% and drive it up

Let’s see it. Step up to the bar. Show the world how strong you really are.

A few months back a new website called Rate My Arms asked me to do an interview for them. Although I have a lot of time anymore I jumped at the opportunity as the proposed questions were right up my alley. And yes,  I’m a bit blunt.

Check it out here at:

http://www.ratemyarms.com/interviews/personal-trainer-and-nutrition-